The Bachelor / Bachelorette: So, when I am watching a woman makeout with like… 10 people within an hour or MAYBE two, I have a “so that’s fine that I did that once” epiphony. Which makes me feel better about myself. But I also am not giving away roses to the most eligible bachelor or bachelorette or traveling the world. OF COURSE it is easy to fall in love when you’re going on luxurious vacations and not paying for anything. However, this is, in my opinion, why these relationships rarely work out. Dating in the real world means fake grabbing for the check (c’mon, we all have been there) or feeling obligated to go to second base is he got drinks and dinner. BUT when it’s the Bachelor – we dub the crazy beotches as crazy the first episode – yes you Tierra – and the man is a little scumbaggish but we all secretly wish he was making out with us. Whatever, overall, this show is entertaining – but I am not so sure that this is the best thing for women and men to watch and mold their idea of a happy and healthy relationship.
Say Yes to the Dress: I like ONE lady on this show – but I always end up either crying or turning it off. I get it, that this is a really emotional thing for someone, but it has driven me to the decision that NO ONE will help me pick out my wedding dress. I could never do the whole scorecard, bell ring of approval thing. And if someone wants to diss the dress I am in love with, they better redneckagnize. (this is the one show TLC got right, in every way.) I have what some people call secondhand embarrassment, and this show really grinds my gears in that there is no way people actually behave that way in public. Call me a scrooge – but my favorite episode is when the girl is a total idiot, tries on 100 dresses, SAYS YES TO THE DRESS, then before the credits start rolling, TLC informs us she never got married because the wedding got called off. You Go Boy.
Four Weddings: My one guilty pleasure. It’s possibly the worst one, but I just LOVE it. First of all, it opened my eyes to the fact that some people DON’T a) serve ANY booze at their wedding b) just don’t have a clue. Mistake number one antibrides. I want to be passed out in my form flattering dress in a honeymoon suite (not a camper) and wake up with a hangover, and I want all of you to suffer with me. The breakdown of this show is pretty generic. There is always one, hippie bride that has a total do-it-yourself wedding, and I am not talking the cute Pinterest one. I am talking these freaks are cooking their own food in crockpots and serving it up on paper plates. I did enjoy the episode where some woman ordered pizza, but, realistically – that would NEVER fly with anyone in my family, with the exception of the groom, most likely. Then, there is the Italian diva, who has a $300,000 budget – and I am NOT hating, but do it well ladies. Spend your money wisely, skip the tacky rhinestones or like… IDK spend it on a kick ass band/DJ or an insanely elegant floral backdrop for your ceremony . Don’t get an ice sculpture, or if you do, make sure it doubles as an ice luge or a home for some to-die-for oysters! (are you seeing a trend?) Basically, the person who wins this show is always the one who plays it semi-safe with decor (lame), has a modest design (again, lame) and either had a banging dress or food, but rarely both.
Something Borrowed, Something New: I have only seen this once, maybe twice – but I can dig it. I love that it is public knowledge that moms can really lay on the pressure when planning the big day – and wearing her wedding dress can either provide a vintage look or cost a fortune to have refitted. By completely reinventing the dress, rather than leaving it as-is, both the bride and the mother of the bride can be satisfied, you win this one TLC. I mean, it is nice to see that this show focuses on the bond between new and old traditions rather than exploiting the industry by making some bratty bitch “famous” for acting like, well, a bratty bitch. Bridezillas: LITERALLY the worst show ever. WHY WOULD ANYONE BEHAVE THAT WAY ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. I would look up the divorce rates for people who have participated on this show, but I already know it is ZERO, or at least below 10. That’s all. I can NOT and will NOT give this show any more attention…
